Resume NO NOs

My job is to help people find a job. This is what they give me to work with.

Here are some of the worst--and funny!--real-life examples of resume typos published

"I am very detail-oreinted."

"I have a bachelorette degree in computers."

"Excellent memory; strong math aptitude; excellent memory; effective management skills; and very good at math."

"I worked as a Corporate Lesion."

"Served as assistant sore manager."

"Special skills: Thyping."

"I have exhaustive experience in manufacturing."

"I have used lots of software appilcations."

"Objection: To utilize my skills in sales."

"I am quick at typing, about 25 words per minute."

"I am a rabid typist."

"Skills: Operated Pitney Bones machine."

"Strengths: Ability to meet deadlines while maintaining composer."

"Education: B.A. in Loberal Arts."

"Work Experience: Dealing with customers' conflicts that arouse."

"Education: College, August 1880 - May 1984."

"Typing Speed: 756 wpm."

"Work History: Performed brain wave tests, 1879-1981."

"Accomplishments: Completed 11 years of high school."

"Thank you for your consideration. Hope to hear from you shorty!"

"Enclosed is a ruff draft of my resume."

"I am sicking and entry-level position."

"I am a quick leaner, dependable, and motivated."

"My salary requirement is $34 per year."
Warning! This is what happens when you give too much information:
"Married, eight children. Prefer frequent travel."

"Graduated in the top 66% of my class."

"Reason for leaving last job: Pushed aside so the vice president's girlfriend could steal my job."

"Special skills: Experienced with numerous office machines and can make great lattes."

"It's best for employers that I not work with people."

"Objective: To have my skills and ethics challenged on a daily basis."

"Experience: Watered, groomed, and fed the family dog for years."

"Special skills: I've got a Ph.D. in human feelings."

"My contributions on product launches were based on dreams that I had."

"Previous experience: Self-employed -- a fiasco."

"Work history: Bum. Abandoned belongings and led nomadic lifestyle."

"Reason for leaving last job: The owner gave new meaning to the word 'paranoia.' I prefer to elaborate privately."

"Extensive background in public accounting. I can also stand on my head!"

"Exposure to German for two years, but many words are inappropriate for business."

"My fortune cookie said, 'Your next interview will result in a job' -- and I like your company in particular."